The Phrase “They Say”

Is anyone else reactive to those words?  Have you ever noticed that people trot them out when trying to win an argument or change your behavior?  A lot of times “shouldn’t” is part of the phrase; “they say you shouldn’t eat wheat”; “they say you shouldn’t exercise every day”; “they say you shouldn’t go to night clubs, rock climb, feed your infant solid food before 6 months,  _______ (fill in the blank)”.

I suspect it’s two aspects of “they say” which really get to me.  The first is that the person who is spouting the phrase is speaking anecdotally  and sharing hearsay as in “they say sky diving is dangerous“ as opposed to “I tried sky diving and got badly hurt on the landing”.  If I wanted to try sky diving, I would totally ignore the first comment. “I tried skydiving” would catch my attention, and I would likely ask more questions in the process of making up my mind.

The second is the “they say” statement is vague and nebulous.  Imagine an airy hand wave  accompanying “they say we should start preparing for a hurricane”.   I might, or might not, change my plans to spend the day on the beach. Conversely, “Ten minutes ago the Hurricane Center announced that Hurricane Zelda hit Cat 4 status and will be making landfall here by 2 p.m.” The direct statement and attribution to a credible source would have me changing plans in a minute!

In my opinion, using “they say” is a passive, disempowering phrase for the speaker and recipient alike. Honor yourself and your audience by speaking directly and factually.